"Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm. Oh no, you never let go.  Every high and every low. Oh no, you never let go. Lord, you never let go of me."

Those words ring in my ear as I return home from a wonderful night with some of my "Posse Girls."  They really know how to keep me straight and God knows how to remind me that His hand is still on me.  How often I forget who I belong to.  I guess that is part of the brokenness.......Forgetting Whose I am. 

Today was good....and sad.  I had a chance to go walking with some friends and I was reminded that I need to suck it up and get busy.  How terribly hard is that when you feel like your soul is missing.  Having to sell everything and move is really difficult right now.  I know that I have to do it but it is so final.  I am so tired of moving.  I want longevity in many areas of my life and I want to be reconnected with my Lord. 

"Life is too short to spend time with people that suck the happiness out of you."  I read that today on a facebook posting.  I totally agree but I keep finding myself in those types of relationships.  Why?  That is probably one of the many questions I have for God.  What about this one, "Lord, why did you allow me to get to this place when I gave my life to you?"  Another good question left unanswered at this point.  Maybe he is allowing me to be sifted.  Not because I am holy or such a good christian.  Maybe it's because I need to see just how weak I am without him.  I don't know

I dare you to love

Wow, what a crazy night. I observed two men fighting over a woman. Both of these men were wrong. They had been longtime friends and to my understanding one decided to mess with the other man's woman. But to take it to the point of wanting to physically harm someone is ridiculous. This is what our world has come to. We're not fighting for morality, Justice, love or peace. We're fighting over choices that other people make for themselves. Why aren't we putting that much energy into things that matter. It makes me so sad to see all that's going on just in our nation. We have a ridiculous political debates, our leaders and supposed protectors have gone so far to the left that sometimes I think there's no turning back. God told us about this stuff. He said that men will be lovers of themselves, thst children would kill and disrespect their parents, and that there would be wars on top of wars. This was spoken thousands of years ago. How can we not believe that God is God. Sometimes I just sit and become so sad just watching the news. So much sin and no love for God. Sometimes I just sit and just say to myself all I want to do is love and be loved. I realize that you don't even have to do anything to anyone for them to dislike you. I remember one of my schoolmates in nursing school telling me there was nothing that I had done to them it was just that they did not like me. What kind of mess is that. But it's all good because the heart that God has given me will never change. Today I'm asking those of you that have an opportunity to read my blog to please take a moment today and love on someone. Maybe it's a hug. Maybe it's a kind gesture or compliment. Maybe even a simple prayer. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that we can't even pray for ourselves. And what about that person that snaps at you. Maybe they just need some love and kindness in their life and you have been afforded the opportunity to make a difference. It's really not that difficult it's just that our pride gets in the way and our feelings get hurt. But this is not about feelings, it's about love. Like that old song says what the world needs now is love sweet love... That's exactly what it needs love sweet love. I dare you to show an expression of Love Today. Is it in you? Comment and share how God allowed you to love.

It's me again

This is actually my second attempt to write this blog and maybe my first attempt wasn't exactly what God wanted me to share. I'm a little agitated that I spent the time and now I have to redo it so this is what I say. When you walk away from the Lord it's harder to get back because the road is different. We tried it go back the way we came but it looks different sounds different the markers are all gone. So now it's A New Path and a New Journey. You have to rely on what you learned the first time around. I remember the saying about insanity and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I guess I've been expecting different results. I've always said that I wanted to be transparent and that has been consistent for me. For those of you that have followed my life or shall I say have stuck by me, you have seen the changes that I've been through. I definitely blame no one but myself for the choices that I have made. I haven't made all bad choices, some of them have been improper timing, inappropriate situation, or just absolutely a bad decision. I thank God for His grace and mercy because He loves me in spite of myself. He said he would never leave me nor forsake me. He said that I am his child, his beloved. You just can't beat that and he just can't help but believe that. But what I struggle with the most is believing that I am worthy of even receiving this infinite mercy and Grace. I have to just continue to take the little bit of faith but I do have and hold on because he said he would Rescue Me. I've learned one thing you cannot work your way to heaven and no matter what anyone thinks or says this journey is totally about transformation. Sure I've been in the vein of Christian Life but what is Christian Life really about? My interpretation is that it's about allowing the spirit of God to penetrate your very being to allow his word to not only transform your mind but your whole existence. It means that you learn to live in this broken world but you learn not to become like it. Perfection doesn't come here but pressing towards the mark is what my goal should be. I remember a song from Whitney Houston that said learning to love ourselves is The Greatest Love of All. I agree... We have to love ourselves enough to allow ourselves to be loved. I think that's where I fall short is that I love people so hard that I left no room for myself hoping that someone else would love me back just as much.  Unrealistic expectations again. That's what got me in trouble before. So again I'm being transparent and allowing my fears to be exposed. Please continue to pray.